Small Talk

I went to the party intending to get very drunk. I slumped next to the punch bowl full of Sangria for most of the night, picking out peices of fruit when no one was looking. My friend Suzie had made the Sangria. She was very excited about it. It was all she talked about at work that week.

Suzie and I became friends because she is the only person at work who likes to drink as much as I do. Suzie has a great memory and likes to eat good food. We got to know each other after I saw her eating in one of my favorite Mexican places.

Suzie wandered over to refill her glass. She was talking with some chump in a top hat who thought he was a real charmer, you could tell.

"What's up with Mr. Cool?" I said, stirring the fruit in my glass with expert nonchalance.

"Oh yea," Suzie said, her speech already slightly slurred, "He keeps reciting the Immancipation Proclamation and saying 'act like you know'. I dont really get it."

She shifted her weight to her other leg. She was wearing a low cut sweater and jeans that still had faint stains from when she had misjudged the distance from her mouth to her cup earlier that night. She was gazing down at the ground, slightly swaying and smiling in the universal style of meditative drunk.

"So, how are you?," She said, momentarilly squeezing my shoulder. It was one of those throw away lines, small talk, a purpose lacking destination. She didnt ussually talk like that.

"Good," I said. "It's a nice party. You seem to have a lot of friends."

"Oh, yea," She said, rolling her eyes, "I dont know." She laughed and then glanced at me nervously.
Her big intoxicated eyes reflected the light coming from the kitchen, where some people were lighting cigarettes on the gas stove.

"What cd is this?" I asked.

"What? Oh, uh, it's The Duke."

"Duke Ellington? Oh, cool."

We both took sips of Sangria.

"The Sangria turned out pretty good." I said.

"Yea, it was really easy." she said, biting her lower lip, distracted.

Suddenly she took my hand and held it.

"I'm really glad you came," she said. Her hand was a little clamy. I followed the delicate wrinkles that lined her eyes. I noticed she was wearing masscara. I felt her dark gray eyes studying my face.
"I have to go to the bathroom," She said after a moment.

"Okay," Was all I said. When she went to the bathroom I got my coat and left her aparment.

The sidewalk was crowded outside her building. It was a Friday night and people walked back and forth, talking loudly and holding hands. I stood on the stoop and watched them flow past. I wondered if Suzie was going to come down and look for me. I wasnt sure if I was just catching some air or if i really felt like leaving the party.
I clenched my fist, thinking of Suzie's cold, nervous hand placed firmly in mine.
She hadn't wanted to let go.

I imagined what it would be like if I was still up there, her hand in mine, while we both took swigs of Sangria with our free hands. I imagined staring into her black marble eyes, watching her friends talk loudly over the music, leaning in close to each other's ears, the man in the top hat presiding over it all.

The scene couldn't have ended just like that. Without hesitation time would speed up, the music would end, conversations would wither and die, the top hat would be lost and trampled on. Suzie would blink her dark eyes, and I and the universe would disappear with them.

I started walking down the street, wondering what would have been, had I been swallowed by that other life that seemed to grow larger with every step.

I wandered for many blocks that way before taking the subway back to my apartment and finally, to sleep.

Oberlin Words

Check out this sight for some words that used to be popular on the oberlin campus back in the day.


Oberlin Speak

Some things have obviously changed, but many things have not.
Some of my favorites that must have gone out of style:

beauty-head / (n.) a student who is stereotyped as an aesthete, used especially by English majors and professors; in contrast to "theory-head" (q.v.)

[the] Bunny / (n.) a strange and esoteric quasi-religion/philosophy/way of life with membership confined largely to certain residents of East Hall--members of the Bunny can be recognized by their use of the sacred Bunny moudra (in appearance similar to a "victory" sign with two fingers placed to the forehead); also, the deity worshiped by members of the Bunny.

cider belly / (n.) a feeling like that obtained from drinking too much apple cider: used in a student co-op by a non-member of the co-op

co-mo-fo / (n.) a member of a student co-operative who has a reputation of lodging frequent objections in discussions among the membership

conservatwat / (n.) [derogatorily] The Oberlin Conservatory of Music; distortion of the final syllable derived from widespread American slang term for female genitalia

four year marriage / (n. phrase) an intimate relationship between undergraduate students, the duration of which coincides with the typical undergraduate career (with motives of fear and/or obsessiveness implied on the part of the participants)

freshling (alt. froshling) / (n.) a student in the first year of collegiate study; perceived as offering a non-sexist alternative to the old-fashioned word "freshman," but without the cumbersomeness of "first year"; "froshling" conveys a tone of greater slang usage than "freshling"

I got your hot sauce / a phrase, meaning "I know what you mean"; imported from elsewhere for use by the seven members of "Firestorm House" (q.v.), now thought to be spreading in general usage among Oberlin students

nerdboy / (n.) a male student who is thought to be part of a clique that lives in the area of the north campus, rarely emerges into daylight, is addicted to Mountain Dew, and has interests largely confined to computers, role-playing games, gossip about other nerdboys, sex, and Star Wars; originally a disparaging term used by others, it has been adopted by some of the nerdboys themselves, and is occasionally used in a somewhat endearing fashion

neurotica / (n. pl.) a collective term applied to students who tend to fall in love with people who display self-destructive behavior, presumably in order to ameliorate such behavior: a blend of "erotica" and "neurotic"

N.Y.P. / (n.) a collective term for students from New York City; presumably an abbreviated form of "New York Posse," a term which is also used sometimes for the same purpose

platonic slut / (n.) derogatory term for a person of either sex who engages in relations that are not overtly sexual but are borderline romantic (e.g., cuddling; sleeping in the same bed) with many other people while assuming that such relations are not romantically binding

(a) Pollock in one's drawer / (n. phrase) a bad situation that one tries to ignore; used by preservationists employed in the Mendery of Mudd Library; derives from an incident (in June, 1967) in which a preservationist discovered, after performing intricate repairs on a book about Jackson Pollock's art, that the work had been upside down--and therefore stowed the botched repair job in a handy drawer

pomo / (n.) a person who studies Post-modern theory; or a person who is associated with such study, based on use of shoulder bags and black and navy blue clothing, with an appearance that is both unkempt and highly fashionable; a contraction. (adj.) possessing the quality of ostentatious self-consciousness

spicy / (adj.) sexy and even a little kinky without being tawdry; risque

twee / (adj.) applied to musical groups [such as, e.g., Sebadoh and Veruca Salt]: having a relatively inoffensive, blandly popular appeal and outlook; used condescendingly by members of Concert Board, a club responsible for bringing musical acts to the campus

twin / (n.) a member of a couple (engaged in a close relationship) who is perceived to have subsumed his or her identity in that of the other

ver / (interj.) a shortened form of "whatever," used to express scorn, cynicism, or disregard as a response to a statement made by another person

wank / 1. (v. intr.) to enjoy to an extreme extent, or even to eroticize, an abstract or intellectual topic; 2. (n.) an instance of such behavior; 3. a class that one particularly enjoys (e.g., "For the pomo, the class on Derrida was an absolute wank")--derived from an American slang term for masturbation

Coronet Films

Last night I watched a whole bunch of Coronet Films on google video.

What is Capitalism? video:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8319517938530632222&q=coronet+films

All of the films ended with rhetorical questions, even the one about capitalism, called What is Capitalism? which I thought was odd, since the whole point of watching was that it would TELL us what capitalism was. Regardless, at least by the end of the film I had some idea what to say if a communist were to climb out from under the rug in my house and start destroying the American way of life before my very eyes.

Are You Popular? was also great. Even though I already knew "girls who park in cars with boys are never popular, not even with the boys they park with", I had never heard anyone articulate the sentiment so well.
Also, to be popular, it is to your benefit if you "like girls just as much as boys." Even though I am a little ashamed to say it, I always assumed that to be popular you only needed to look nice and practice good hygiene, but apparently if you listen and care about other people that really boosts your scores in the popularity contest.

Are You Popular? video:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1563248439515368094&q=coronet+films


This site has a list of many other companys that made "school films".
http://www.paulivester.com/schoolfilm/history.htm


I recommend any of the Coronet Films to anyone who is looking to overcome their shyness, trying to make friends, hoping to become a secratary, or simply wants to "find a way to please the men in their lives" by making them some brownies.

Also, for those of you who were not aware, you should never ask a girl for a date with fewer than 24 hours notice. First of all, you give the impression that she is a last resort, and you don't give her time to 1) write "do hair and nails" in her planner, and 2) do her hair and nails.

Even though I found Are You Popular? and some of the other films helpful, I still felt like some of my concerns were not addressed.
Specifically, I would have liked it if they metioned what to do if you are a GWG.
As a girl with glasses (GWG) myself, I have all the misfortunes and difficulties that come along with the inherited trait, and I have so many questions that I have been dying for someone to answer, such as:
How do I, as a GWG, overcome my disability? When is it appropriate, if at all, for a girl with glasses to talk to a boy without glasses? Is it "okay" to persue a career that is not as a librarian or secratary? Can a girl with glasses ever park in a car with a boy if they are going steady, or is such a senario completely unheard of?
Should girls that need glasses be allowed to have them, or should they sacrifice their vision for a higher social standing?
Should these girls, obviously tettering on the margin of society, be allowed to socialize with those not of their kind? Should such girls be forbidden to mate?
What if a girl has glasses but simply isn't bright? Should she just give up now?

Coronet Films, I emplore you, this film would be garenteed to bring hope to millions of GWG's across the country. I thank you in advance.

On My Relationship With Cats

A black and white cat is sitting in the grass across the street in my neighbors lawn. From my window i watch as it paces about.
I know it is a male cat. It has a deeper, less refined meow than a female.

I have always felt kinship for cats. Sylvester, Tom, and Wylie Coyote(who wasnt a cat, but i always thought looked like one)--popular culture tricked me into thinking they were the underdogs, the ones to root for. though I learned better, when my own cat would leave dead mice and chipmunks on the door step. I tried to save one of the chipmunks my cat killed, but when i came home from preschool my mom told me it was dead. She had buried it in the backyard before i got home, i remember wishing i could have seen it one last time. I really liked the show Chip and Dale, Rescue Rangers at the time. I had some kind of odd, inexplicable crush on Chip.

My dad got me two cats from the SPCA for my 3rd birthday. I named them Hop and Pop, inspired by Dr. Suess. Pop was the boy. He was very sweet and did not bite. Hop was the girl. She would bite and scratch and was kind of a mean kitten.

Pop was gray and white. When we ate dinner he would hang on kitchen door, his face peering in at us. My dad would open the door to let him in, but he would not let go of the door as it swung open.
One day, I cant remember when, but Pop dissappeared. I always assumed he ran away, because i never found out what happened to him. Thinking about it now, i can still recall how sad i felt about it. I thought we were going to be together forever.

Hop stuck around. Hop was a black cat with green eyes. I thought she was going to stay mean, but as she got older, her personality changed completely. She became really nice and would sit in my lap and fall asleep while i was petting her.

Hop got pregnant quite frequently. She had at least four litters of kittens that i can recall.
I remember the first time, going up to my dad's loft where they were born, watching their bobbling heads, eyes still sealed shut.
When they were old enough, i was allowed to hold them. i liked the soft little mass that would purr and eventually fall into silent sleep. i would sit like that for a long time, i would get uncomfortable and my legs would cramp up, but i didnt want to disturb the kitten.
There is a picture of me my dad must have taken years ago, me sitting on a rock, and in my lap, though you dont notice at first, are the bodies of two or three kittens.

Other than Hop and Pop and the kittens, there was Jimmy, Jimmy Jr., Jimmy Jr. the 3rd (who were all related), Jimmy Jr. the 4th (who was a girl and not related to the others), and Peterson.

When my parents got divorced, Hop stayed at the farm house, where my dad lived. After my dad left, the people who lived there took care of her. I thought she was dead, but i saw her there, a couple years ago, very old, but still alive. I was truly shocked and amazed at her longevity. Before that i wasnt sure, but now i know Hop is immortal.


My friends here at school have a cat they have kind of informally adopted that lives on their back porch. My friend named her "Baby." She is very sweet. She has a missing tooth in the front of her mouth and when i pet her she drools.
She is black with green eyes like Hop--her reincarnation. Sometimes i like to go over to their house just to hang out with her.

Some people think cats are mean or sneaky. It's true, they are manipulative and cunning. I think it is where i get it from. When i was little, i thought i was a cat. I remember telling these boys at day care i had a hard head because i had three cats so i had three skulls. impenatrible logic, i know.

This is something different

Hello, my name is Dollar Bill, aka ChatterBox aka Ven Diaphram aka Anville aka The Answer.

I have never had a livejournal, but now I have a blog.
I have decided to stop fighting the forces of lightning speed technology and get in line, sit back and watch the magic happen.

I am not sure exactly what I envision for this blog as of yet. Probably a series of anecdotes, and stories, poems. What fun!
Perhaps some opinions will even make their way onto the page.